To be perfectly candid, I think my blog is having an identity crisis.
I’m having trouble finding my “voice”. It’s always been an issue that is slightly there, but I fear it is getting worse. Normally I would ignore it and just continue to flush through ideas, but I’m hitting a wall. I write posts, and then I don’t publish them because I fear the writing style is entirely unauthentic.
I haven’t published something in roughly two weeks, but I think about this website and where it is headed a lot. Considering there’s no real content going up – and not just here, on Twitter and Instagram too – I get the sense that those who maybe once liked to read this blog feel I’m just drifting away, and for that, I apologize (although, to be perfectly honest, I’ve never ever felt I’ve had a consistent audience).
I read a lot of really great blog posts and it upsets me that the posts I have drafted aren’t as exciting, or inspirational. But then I also read a lot of extremely boring blog posts and think that maybe blogging is stupid. I get quickly motivated to spruce up my social media and make strides, and just as quickly, I get discouraged. It’s a lot of work and in my case, I don’t think a lot of reward.
The only person you should be blogging for is yourself, but having an audience and being noticed is important. I’ve been at this for almost 5 years (I am in awe of this number, as I typed it) and I don’t know how to proceed. It seems all I’ve been doing is writing about writing instead of publishing real content – that in itself is an issue, I know.
I’m caught at a real crossroads because it feels like the summer is almost over – in reality I still have over a month, but my original plan way back when school ended was to post consistently over the summer.
Where does this leave TFN? No clue. But if you want to stick around for the ride, I’ll be grateful.